“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.” Matthew 18:15
“For I fear that perhaps when I come I may find you not as I wish, and that you may find me not as you wish—that perhaps there may be quarreling, jealousy, anger, hostility, slander, gossip, conceit, and disorder.” 2 Corinthians 12:20
Gossip is for the coward
When we are offended, Jesus commands us to go and speak to that person (Mat. 18:15). This is a very courageous act. It’s an act though, not shrouded in revenge, but transparent in love. Love is intentional and sincere in seeking what is best for itself by seeking what is best for another (Gal. 5:14). But gossip is not a courageous act. It is a cowardly act, an act of selfishness and disobedience. Gossip is speaking or listening to something about someone with the intent of criticizing, mocking, or slandering that person. God is against those who do such things (1 Pt. 3:8-12). Gossip is hatred, since it seeks less than the best for another. Gossip is violence, since it aims to devour another (Gal. 5:15). Gossip is laziness, since it avoids the hard work necessary to live at peace with another (Rom. 12:18). Gossip is something we should fear (2 Cor. 12:20).
Friendship is for the brave
While in public gossipers tend to be polite in behavior and flattering in speech, but in secret they are unguarded and unrestrained. Friends on the other hand, are genuine and trustworthy at all times. When necessary, they will be honest, transparent and vulnerable. Confrontation is done with sensitivity, yet clarity. Conflict is not avoided because of fear. While gossipers take delight in spreading rumors and mocking others, friends take joy in speaking the truth and encouraging others face to face. Friendship is hard work, not for the faint at heart. Friendship is unreserved in speaking out and unafraid in battling against any evil that attempts to harm, separate or destroy it. Friends know that the reward of maintaining and growing their friendship is well worth the cost of pain, frustration, trouble and hardship along the way.
Jesus was a friend
Jesus came to give up his life for us, which is the highest demonstration of true friendship (Jn. 15:13). He came down to reconcile humanity to God, even though they deserved God’s wrath then and there, as we deserve it now and here. Jesus was single-minded and sincere, not double-minded and fake. Jesus didn’t accuse with wicked words, spreading rumors and lies; he confronted sin in love, giving mercy and grace. Jesus didn’t ignore, but showed compassion. Jesus didn’t flatter someone and then talk about them behind their back. He forgave their sin and gave them eternal life. Jesus didn’t shirk his responsibilities towards others, but fully embraced them, so that he could better serve them by ultimately dying on the cross. Jesus was a friend of sinners, so that we could become friends of God (Jn. 15:15), demonstrating his love to the world.
And this is how the world will know that we are his friends: “You are my friends if you do what I command you.” (John 15:14)
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