How often are you satisfied with your order at your favorite coffee shop? Do you order exactly what you want but always find your order less than exact? How often do you recommend a restaurant without hesitation, or is there always that little disappointment you have to add? How often do you find what is wrong in someone else, things you think they can’t “improve” without your help?
It’s easy to find what we’re against, to spot what we would like changed, to call out what we think should be done differently. Yet if we find ourselves most of the time criticizing, as valid as our reasons might be, we should not be surprised to find people unwilling to listen to us.
The bottom-line is that people who are mostly ‘against’ things will find that their opinions are mostly ignored.
Rather than making a habit of speaking against what we think others are doing wrong, how about making a habit of speaking for what we think others are doing right? Is it easier to remember the last time I criticized someone or complemented someone?
Having a reputation is not optional. You and I already have one. Is my reputation one of being critical or encouraging? It takes greater maturity and boldness to encourage and be FOR people than it does to criticize and be AGAINST people. In fact, encouraging people often involves us dying to ourselves to serve and put others first. Criticizing can simply involve putting me and my opinion above others.
Being FOR people is greater than being AGAINST people. Helping or influencing others is rarely accomplished by being against them. Certainly, we all have blind spots that MUST be corrected. But those who are best able to bring correction are those who have established beforehand that they are FOR us, not AGAINST us.
Having an opinion doesn’t make me wise, discerning or influential. Having character does. And godly character is built on love for God and for others, not for self. Godly character is broken and formed in the presence of the God who is FOR me, not AGAINST me (Psalm 118:6; Romans 8:31; 1 John 4:4). Put simply, because He is FOR me and loves me, He grants repentance and changes me (Psalm 54:10; Acts 11:18; Romans 2:4).
To have a greater marriage, be FOR your spouse, not against them. To have a greater family, be FOR your children, not against them. To have greater leaders, be FOR them, not against them. To have a greater church, be FOR your church, not against it. To have greater friendships, be FOR your friends, not against them.
CHALLENGE: Everyday for the next eight days, DO encourage someone or write something encouraging and DON’T correct someone or write something critical.
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