Two weeks ago it was my wife’s birthday, and rather than buying her a gift, I opted to take her shopping. I love buying her things, and especially watching her face when she finds something she likes, so we went to the mall and into one of her favorite stores. She knew exactly what she was looking for and where to find it. As we walked, I realized that coming up soon was a full length mirror. Suddenly this urge came upon me to look at myself while I walked by. I wondered at this, and began checking myself in the other stores and hallways. I looked at myself more times than I’m comfortable admitting! It’s a pattern I wasn’t quite aware of before.
Within our lifestyles, there are ingrained patterns of behavior that we’re not totally aware of.
When we talk about purity, we must recognize there are certain patterns in our lives that reveal the impurities of our hearts, as well as the purities. In other words, sometimes you’re going to take that double-glance because you’re used to taking that double-glance. Other times you won’t even take one glance, because you’re used to not taking one. Over time, we develop patterns of impurity or purity that we’re not always aware of, but we should be, because God calls us as Christians to purity.
PURITY IS RELATIONAL
In the opening verses of chapter 3 (1-5), Naomi is essentially setting-up Ruth and Boaz. She appears to be playing match-maker. She tells Ruth to take a bath and to put on her best clothes. Next she tells Ruth to take notice of when Boaz is done eating because for men, eating and contentment go hand-in-hand with a lot of things! Then she says to wait until the night to approach him. Lastly, she tells Ruth to go to the threshing floor. In that day and culture, threshing floors were notorious for illicit sexual behavior. It was during harvest time that many religious cults practiced fertility festivals, often at threshing floors. Are you a little suspicious? Are we witnessing something impure here? What is Naomi doing? Is Naomi setting them up for failure?
Ruth was a woman of reputation (2:11; 3:11). She was a woman worthy to be esteemed, moral. Who knew Ruth better than anyone? Naomi. So Naomi’s not trying to trip Ruth up; she’s not trying to put Ruth in a position of sexual compromise. She knows the character and integrity of Ruth. Additionally, Naomi has also heard of Boaz. He was also a man of excellent reputation in the city (2:1). So what Naomi is doing is safe, and protected by the character of the two people she is “setting-up”.
To walk in purity, you need others. 2 Timothy 2:22 says, “So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.” It’s not enough to flee by yourself, and it’s not enough to pursue these things by yourself. There may be occasions when you have to, but the way to do it successfully until the end is to do it along with others. But not just any other people: people who have pure hearts. Purity is relational. God intends for you to be pure, and the best method and tool He’s given you is other people.
The reason purity must be relational is this: the power and grip of sin is secrecy. When David committed adultery (2 Samuel 11), God sent the prophet Nathan to expose David’s sin (2 Sam. 12). Why? Because the longer David hid his sin, the stronger and deeper the grip would be upon his heart. So when Nathan comes with the words of God, he says, “You did this secretly” (2 Sam. 12:22). John 3:20 says, “For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed.” Notice the word “should”. There’s no guarantee that what is hidden will be exposed, but the minimal possibility that it MIGHT be exposed is enough for the person living in secret sin to not come anywhere close to the light. They will not risk it being exposed. But they are living in the grip of sin, and sin intends to destroy through secrecy.
In this country there are 1.9 million cocaine users. There are 2 million heroin users. There are 40 million online porn users. That’s 40 million people living in secret sin. That’s 40 million people in the grip of sin. That’s 40 million people destroying their souls, not living in true, open and honest friendship with others. That’s 40 million people dying in their hearts, killing their marriages, killing their families, killing their friendships, killing their brains, their hearts and their spirits, secretly.
But if secrecy is the power and grip of sin, then the power and release from sin is confession, which requires people. Hebrews 4:13 says, “And no creature is hidden from his sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give account.” Our secrets are exposed to God. All of our actions are laid bare before Him. There is nothing hidden from Him, which is why He tells us in James 5:16 to “confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed.” Many people walking in sexual impurity want to be set free and want to be healed, but the cost of freedom and healing is telling somebody. We can confess our sins to God and He will forgive us. But there are times when that is not enough. There are times when God’s way of delivering and bringing healing to many of us is by bringing us to the point where we are desperate enough to tell somebody else. It’s in those moments that power enters our heart, grace floods our life, and God begins the process of deliverance. You can’t walk in purity if you’re not walking with other people.
Ephesians 5:11 tells us to “Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them.” Which is the most courageous: to hide or to expose? Ultimately, it’s the coward who lives in sin, and it’s the bold and courageous person who steps out and says, “I’ve had enough!”
PURITY IS REWARDED
As the story continues (Ruth 3:6-11), Ruth obeys Naomi and eventually encounters Boaz in the night on the threshing floor. Ruth says to Boaz “spread your covering over me” (verse 9). The word covering here also means “wings”. In chapter 2:12, Boaz praises Ruth’s reputation and prays that God would reward Ruth for coming under the refuge of His wings. And now Ruth comes and says to Boaz, “Spread your wings over me.” Boaz became the answer to his own prayer! God’s reward to Ruth was Boaz! Ultimately, all of God’s provision and protection for this woman would come through her husband-to-be, Boaz.
Let me ask you a heart-searching, thought-provoking question: do you want to be the answer to someone’s lust or to someone’s prayer?
There are people looking for people. Everybody wants to be in a relationship, but for different reasons. Everybody is in a relationship, but for different reasons. Would you rather, if you had the choice, be the answer to the lust of someone who is looking for something to use, to objectify? Or would you rather be the answer to the prayer of someone who is looking for someone to honor and to value? In our heart of hearts, I think all of us would say, “I want to be the answer to someone’s prayer. I want to be God’s reward to someone.” That means that the desire of your heart is really for purity, even if you’re living in impurity and you’re content to live there. Deep in your heart, you don’t want to be a thing, you don’t want to be used, you don’t want to be wasted. You want to be treasured, you want to be valued, you want to be honored. You desire purity.
When I love and treat my daughters like ladies at their current young age, I’m doing it because I love them, but also because one day when they are in a relationship with another man, I want them to know prior to that how a man is supposed to treat them, love them, and respect them. Because if they know that, when they are in a relationship and they begin to not be treated or respected in that way, they’ll recognize and know: this is not the way a man is supposed to treat me. I want to be for them an example of what I want their husbands to be for them.
This presents a tension, though, because many who are living in impurity, or who have lived in impurity, or to whom something impure has happened, feel impure. Though their heart’s desire is, “I want to be worthy of a good man”, “I want to be worthy of a good woman”, “I want to love my wife better”, “I want to love my husband better”, their heart’s conviction adds, “…but I am unworthy.” Hold on, there’s hope ahead.
Ruth’s words, “spread your covering”, lead us to Ezekiel chapter 16, where God looks at Israel. Walking by her, He sees her as a woman who is despised, dejected, rejected, wallowing in blood and filth, guilty, gross… but God comes to impure Israel and spreads His covering over her (verse 8). And He says to the impure woman, to you and to me, “I’m making a covenant with you.” The result was that He, God, brought her into covenant and washed her, clothed her and adorned her (verses 9-11). Wherever we are in our sin and our filth and our impurity, Jesus still comes and He spreads His love over us, and He says through His cross and blood, “Enter into a covenant with me.”
This is what Ruth was looking for. She wasn’t “making a move”. She wasn’t trying to seduce or manipulate Boaz. She was saying, “Enter into covenant with me, Boaz. The complexity, the richness, the permanence of a covenant is more precious to me than a one-night stand.” And God rewarded them, because God rewards purity. When we’re brought into a covenant with God through Jesus Christ, our greatest reward is our ONE husband, Jesus. Our greatest reward is to be able to look upon Him, to know Him, to hear His voice and to have Him change us and conform us. Paul says in 2 Corinthians 11:2, “For I feel a divine jealousy for you, since I betrothed you to one husband, to present you as a pure virgin to Christ.” This is God’s desire for his church: to present us to His son as an undefiled, unblemished bride. Which means that regardless of your impure past, there is hope and forgiveness for you; it means that because of your pure present, there is a pure future for you -- all because of Jesus.
Ruth and Boaz were rewarded for their purity. Ruth was a widow, but because of her purity God rewarded her with a good husband. Think of the family: Naomi was now going to be able to hear the sound of grandchildren. Ruth, who had been barren, because of her obedience and purity and the grace of God, is going to be able to hold a new child. The family is rewarded because of the purity of two people. Historically, history was changed because two people on a threshing floor committed themselves to purity and to the will of God. The sun rose on purity, not on shame. And in heaven, I’m sure they were rewarded for their purity. God wants to reward you for your purity. And if you’re living in impurity, He wants to change it into purity and bring His blessing into your life.
PURITY IS RELENTLESS/RUTHLESS
Purity is relentless. There is no lessening of strength in purity’s pursuit. Purity is ruthless. It has zero pity or mercy on anything that would come against it or try to destroy it. Purity doesn’t take what doesn’t belong to it. So if that woman doesn’t belong to you, purity is not going to take that second glance. If that man doesn’t belong to you, purity is not going to take that second thought. But purity will fight for what does belong to it. What belongs to your purity? If you’re married, your husband, your wife, and your bed (Hebrews 13:4) belongs to your purity, and you should fight to protect each. Your children belong to your purity, and you should fight until the end to protect them. The atmosphere of our churches and homes belongs to our purity. Your mind, your heart, your spirit and your body belong to your purity and you should fight to protect them. None of these things belong to anyone else.
Naomi was relentless in her pursuit of marriage for Ruth and Boaz. She used great ingenuity in designing her plan. She strategized, “What’s the best way to do this?” Purity strategizes and is creative in pursuing what belongs to it. Ruth was determined. She went beyond what Naomi told her to do, because she intended to bless Naomi. There was something in Ruth’s heart that was holding out and holding on: “This is the pure blessing of God for me. This is what I want for Naomi and I’m determined to get it.” She was devoted. In 3:10 Boaz says, “You have made this last kindness greater than the first in that you have not gone after young men, whether poor or rich.” Ruth could have pursued any man. She could have married out of love with a poor boy; she could have married out of greed with a rich boy. She opted to do neither, though she probably had the top bachelors available to her. Ruth, however, was not devoted to those things. She was devoted to doing what was right, to walking the pure path, and God blessed her for it. Boaz was a man of integrity. He says, “And now, my daughter, do not fear. I will do for you all that you ask, for all my fellow townsmen know that you are a worthy woman. And now it is true that I am a redeemer. Yet there is a redeemer nearer than I” (3:11-12). He was courageous enough to tell her, “Let’s wait. I’ll take it to the city gates and elders, and if that other man doesn’t want to redeem you, I will; but if he does, that’s the right thing to do” (see 3:13). His purity was ruthless, even at the expense of his own desires.
WHICH PATH WILL YOU WALK?
In a recent article published by Morgan Bennett, titled, “The New Narcotic”, we read:
Neurological research has revealed that the effect of internet pornography on the human brain is just as potent — if not more so — than addictive chemical substances such as cocaine or heroin.
To make matters worse, there are 1.9 million cocaine users, and 2 million heroin users, in the United States compared to 40 million regular users of online pornography. (Mentioned above)
Cocaine is considered a stimulant that increases dopamine levels in the brain. Dopamine is the primary neurotransmitter that most addictive substances release, as it causes a “high” and a subsequent craving for a repetition of the high, rather than a subsequent feeling of satisfaction by way of endorphins.
Heroin, on the other hand, is an opiate, which has a relaxing effect. Both drugs trigger chemical tolerance, which requires higher quantities of the drug to be used each time to achieve the same intensity of effect.
Pornography, by both arousing (the “high” effect via dopamine) and causing an orgasm (the “release” effect via opiates), is a type of polydrug that triggers both types of addictive brain chemicals in one punch, enhancing its addictive propensity.
Bennett further says,
“…internet pornography does more than just spike the level of dopamine in the brain for a pleasure sensation. It literally changes the physical matter within the brain so that new neurological pathways require pornographic material in order to trigger the desired reward sensation.”
Think of the brain as a forest where trails are worn down by hikers who walk along the same path over and over again, day after day. The exposure to pornographic images creates similar neural pathways that, over time, become more and more “well-paved” as they are repeatedly traveled with each exposure to pornography. Those neurological pathways eventually become the trail in the brain’s forest by which sexual interactions are routed. Thus, a pornography user has “unknowingly created a neurological circuit” that makes his or her default perspective toward sexual matters ruled by the norms and expectations of pornography.
The article goes on to give two other results from pornography. One is that because of the craving pornography creates, but is unable to satisfy, the person using pornography may go on to “more novel pornographic content”. The second, and perhaps most important, is that “While substances can be metabolized out of the body, pornographic images cannot be metabolized out of the brain because pornographic images are stored in the brain’s memory.”
Sexual impurity, in many of its forms, is permanent. The effects of sexual impurity are devastating. This is the well-paved path of porn and sexual impurity. Jesus said in Matthew 5:28, “But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Nothing is new or news to Jesus. Proverbs 23:7 says, literally, “As he thinks in his soul, so is he”. What happens with your eyes affects your heart. What happens with your heart affects your eyes. In all this, we must remember that nothing is permanent for Jesus: He can heal the brain, the heart, the spirit and the body.
Impurity, in all of its forms, always returns with empty hands, unsatisfied. On the threshing floor, Boaz is separating the grain from the chaff. As the wind blows through, he throws it into the air and the wind blows away the chaff and allows the grain to fall. All of our sexual impurity is like chaff. It will never, ever satisfy us. But purity always returns with full hands, satisfied. Before Ruth said good morning and goodbye, Boaz turned to her and said, “ ‘Bring the garment you are wearing and hold it out.’ So she held it, and he measured out six measures of barley and put it on her…he said to me, ‘You must not go back empty-handed to your mother-in-law.’ ” (3:15-17) The grain became a promise that everything in the heart of Naomi would come to pass, because Boaz and Ruth lived in purity in that moment. Do you want chaff or do you want grain? Which path will you walk? Jesus took our impurities upon Himself that we might freely receive His purity. He fought for it on the cross and decidedly won the battle. He washes and cleanses our deepest stains. He covers and clothes our darkest shame. He transforms and empowers us by His Holy Spirit. He replaces the bitterness of our impurity with the sweetness of His purity.
“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.” Matthew 5:8
“Strive…for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord.” Hebrews 12:14.
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