Jonathan Evans

Forgiveness is daily cleansing

What are some things we clean daily? 

 

Our bodies. When I was growing up my parents needed to remind me to take a shower. Apparently they weren’t immune to the smell like I was. In fact, even later in life (no, I won’t tell you how old I was) someone kindly pulled me aside and asked if owned deodorant. Yeah, we need to clean and wash our bodies daily.  

 

 

 

 Our clothes. We all like wearing a clean shirt and pants. If you have to smell that shirt before you put it on though, you probably shouldn’t wear it. Just go ahead and wash it.

 

Our dishes. Now that my children are doing dishes, every once in a while I pull out a plate or a fork that has a spot or some food on it. They don’t want to use it when I give it to them. So we wash again.

 

Our houses. Most of us have a day of the week where we go through the house and clean it thoroughly. We pick up, put things back into place, sweep, dust, etc. If hospitality is a way of living for you, then a clean house is a must. 

 

If in our daily, physical lives there are things we should take care of, how about in our daily, spiritual lives? 

 

More than anyone Jesus knows what we need most every single day. One of the most important things he teaches us that we need is forgiveness – receiving and giving it. It is as essential as “daily bread” and daily protection and guidance. (Matthew 6:11-13)

 

“Forgive us our debts as we also have forgiven our debtors.” (Matthew 6:12) .

 

Forgiveness is daily cleansing.

 

When we’re forgiven and when we forgive we can smell good again. The fragrance of grace and mercy returns to us. We’re no longer immune to our own odor of anger, unforgiveness or bitterness. We’re easier and more enjoyable to be around. 

 

When we’re forgiven and when we forgive we can wear a spirit of kindness. A clean attitude of love clothes us. Generosity and joy are with us wherever we go. We release to God what we think others owe us rather than demanding it from them.

 

When we’re forgiven and when we forgive we can be patient with and less critical of others. We’ll recognize that we are far worse sinners against God than others are against us. Yet He loves us, forgives us, and cleanses us.

 

When we’re forgiven and when we forgive we can clean any unkept areas in our hearts that are dark and filthy. Light and fresh air come in. Things that are disorganized and clutter our lives, making it nearly impossible to move, can be trashed. Order can return.

 

Yes, I sin daily, “But you are a God ready to forgive” (Nehemiah 9:17). Yes, I am sinned against daily, but “as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.” (Colossians 3:13)

Serve. But every single day?

Learning to serve is perhaps one of the hardest things to learn, to do, to get in the habit of. Yes, it should become a habit. It should be something we do day in and day out, even at times without thinking, without blinking, without hesitation.

 

 

Being last is something we’re not naturally inclined towards. And yet putting others first is the only sure road to experiencing joy, mercy, forgiveness, kindness, generosity, grace, and love. 

 

Is it possible to experience the abundant life of Jesus if we resist or refuse living the way he lived? “For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you.” (John 13:15) 

 

This new life is a new way of living. “Abide in my love.” (John 15:9)

 

Start with someone close to you. What’s one thing that you can do for them every single day? A kiss before you get out of bed. A morning cup of coffee. Sweeping the floor before leaving for work. Doing the dishes before going to bed. Asking about their day. Asking if they need anything. 

 

A servant’s heart is a creative heart; it sees endless opportunities.

 

Yet even when the things we do become monotonous, even boring, over time we cultivate contentment – deep satisfaction and gratitude. That awkward feeling of doing something that you rarely do has been replaced with the genuine disappointment of not having done what you want to do every single day.

"Hide not your face from me"

You need to go to the store, not the one closest to your house because they don't have what you need. The distance requires you to drive. So you start.

 

How far do you think you'll move if you're looking only at the steering wheel? 

 

You will never arrive at your destination by fixing your eyes on the steering wheel. You will only arrive by watching the road.

 

"Let your eyes look directly forward, and your gaze be straight before you. Ponder the path of your feet; then all your ways will be sure. Do not swerve to the right or to the left; turn your foot away from evil." (Proverbs 4:25-27)

 

The best way to "ponder the path", to "not swerve" off the path, but to get to where you need to go is to look directly forward, to gaze ahead intently, earnestly, fervently.

 

As Christians, we won't get very far towards the destination of God and His will for our lives by looking at ourselves, our circumstances or our world.

 

David says there's "one thing" that he must gaze upon always, without interruption, "all the days of his life": God's beauty, God's face (Psalm 27:4).

 

"Hide not your face from me." (Psalm 27:9) 

 

Recently, my daughter climbed up into my lap and held my face within her little hands. She was gazing straight at me as she talked; I was gazing straight at her as I listened.

 

The longer I looked, the more I noticed. There were features of her face that I'd not seen before, features that were hidden from me because I tend to turn away quickly from her, to look past her, to look around her.

 

To know what she really looks like is going to take time, time to gaze.

 

"For God, who said, 'Let light shine out of darkness,' has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ." ( 2 Corinthians 4:5)

 

The path away from yourself, through your circumstances, onto God's will, and into eternity begins and ends with knowing the face of Jesus. 

 

Fix your eyes on Him (Hebrews 12:1-2).   

The story Jesus tells

The always-happy, princess Annabelle, and the always-sad Gregory, a lost boy. These are the two main characters in the bedtime story I'm telling my daughters.

 

Today they're anticipating the third and final part: Will Annabelle be happy again? Will Gregory discover who the people are in the broken picture that hangs on the wall in the small, wooden house? Why can he always remember his way back, but never how he came to live there? And why does the same picture of the tree with the stream also hang in princess Annabelle's castle? Why, when Gregory looks at it, does he feel a sense of belonging, of peace, of something different than sadness?

 

 

These are the questions looking for answers. But I don't know the answers. That's because I haven't "written" them yet!

 

When I tell a story to my daughters, I'm making it up along the way; I'm telling the story as I'm "writing" the story. But this is not the way God tells His story, which is your story, my story, our story. 

 

God doesn't make things up as He goes along. He has no limited visibility across the distance of time. All things are set before Him - clear, open, level. All things belong to Him - completely, permanently. "All things" are his servants (Psalm 119:91). 

 

"there is one God, the Father, from whom are all things and for whom we exist, and one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom are all things and through whom we exist." (1 Corinthians 8:6)

 

With God, all things have their beginning, middle and ending in Jesus Christ. In Him all things have been and are created; everything is sustained (John 1:3; Colossians 1:16, 17). In Jesus every heavenly blessing is given (Romans 8:32), every spiritual treasure is enjoyed (Colossians 2:3) and every earthly joy and sorrow do work together for good (Romans 8:28), a good that is often beyond our comprehension and always beyond our imagination.

 

In Jesus alone all things are summed up and will find their fulfillment (Ephesians 1:10). Under Jesus' authority and wisdom all things have their place in history, time and space (Ephesians 1:2); He rules and reigns sovereignly, lovingly, unequivocally, flawlessly, and perfectly. "For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever. Amen." (Romans 11:36)

 

Jesus knows the story, from beginning to end. He's not wondering what to do next; He's not confused by what just happened. What He has begun, He most certainly can and will finish (Philippians 1:6).

 

So listen with open eyes, open ears and an open heart.

Unselfed-marriage

If I showed you a silhouette of Buzz Lightyear I have no doubt you would instantly recognize him as Buzz. Same goes for a silhouette of either Gandalf, Legolas and the Fellowship of the Ring or of Martin Luther King, Jr.. A silhouette is a representation of an object, a person or a scene which has a featureless interior, yet a detailed exterior.

 

 

Paul, writing in Ephesians 5:31 begins by quoting Genesis 2:24: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” Paul next says, “This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.” Marriage, then, is a representation – the silhouette – of Christ’s love for His church and His church’s love for Him. Marriage should look like Jesus Christ laying down His life on the cross out of love. But to represent we must resemble.

 

DYING TO SELF

In reality, 50% of all marriages, christian or not, divorce before year 7. Writer Gary Thomas suggests that it takes 9 to 14 years for a husband and a wife to move from Me to We, that is, to go from being selfish to being unselfed. But since the pain of dying to self and living for another is too great, many husbands and wives choose the comfort of living for self. Had some waited another 2 years, they may have entered into a season and life of marriage that would have made the cost pale in comparison to the reward.

 

The bottom line is that it takes a long time to die to self...

 

Into my college years I was pretty confident I was a dream husband-to-be! But of course nothing would be further from the truth! Upon getting married to Alissa I soon came to recognize that I was more selfish than I knew. But this recognition came as a result of the realization that Jesus was more humble than I imagined. It remains eternally impossible to live before His face and remain unchanged. You don’t learn humility in a vacuum. You learn it face to face in relationship with other people, beginning with Jesus. 

 

The greatest convictions of sin in my life have come within the context of my marriage. Why? Because marriage is about holiness before happiness – a shadow of a greater reality, a thread of a greater tapestry, a note of a greater composition. Yet, for the christian holiness is happiness. It’s in becoming more like Jesus that we walk into a greater depth of joy and love flowing from the life we have in Him. This is because we were not created to live for ourselves, to count ourselves as more significant than others, to put ourselves first. But that’s exactly what we too often do: we put ourselves first.

 

FIRST RESPONSES

When you’re getting ice cream for yourself, do you even remember there are other people in the room? Do you even think to ask if someone else wants any? Better yet, if there’s only enough for one bowl, do you give it to your wife? Or imagine you’re grilling on a perfectly beautiful summer day. The breeze is blowing, the drink is cold and your hunger is kicking. The burger at the center of the grill is the biggest, juiciest one there. Do you think to yourself, “This one is mine” or “This one is for my wife.”? What are your first thoughts, your first responses? Are they centered around others first or around yourself first? 

 

A marriage can only and truly be satisfying and enduring if it’s between two unselfed people, each one moving away from his or her own selfish interests towards Jesus and the other. A marriage could potentially survive if a husband and/or wife feel they’re getting what they want, but it can only thrive when a husband and a wife are learning to give what the other needs. Giving requires serving which requires sacrifice, patience, time, care, attention and focus on a daily basis. 

 

LITTLE BY LITTLE

Little by little self-seeking spoils and rots a relationship. It’s the small things that sneak in because it’s the big things we’re looking for. Big words like divorce and unfaithfulness get all the attention, leaving wide open spaces for busyness, criticism, distraction, hurt, offense, etc. to creep in and reek havoc (Song of Solomon 2:15). Just because you’re not on the precipice of disaster doesn’t mean you’re not inching closer. Personally, as a pastor, I believe that no amount of ministerial success (or any success) will outweigh any amount of marital failure before the eyes of Jesus. Paul never said, “Love your ministry (or job or career or hobby or anything) as yourself.” He said to love your wife as yourself (Ephesians 5:28).

 

Little by little self-giving nourishes and sustains a relationship. Think of a valve that either opens or closes the flow of water. The more you serve your husband or wife, the more you open up the flow of life into your marriage. Every little thing is an adjustment of the valve and an increase in flow. But the opposite is also true. The less you serve each other, the more you close off the flow. 

 But where does the flow go?

 

LIFE FLOW

Recently my wife and I replaced the plumbing in our house. We went from galvanized pipe to copper. The galvanized pipe was so full of an accumulation of corrosion that I could hold the pipe vertical, take a pen and stand it straight up. In many marriages there’s a dirty, old accumulation of selfishness and offense. All the serving in the world isn’t going to make a difference in the flow. At this point many try to buy back what they have lost: the bigger and more expensive the gift, the reasoning goes, the more certain they are things will get better. Unfortunately, one can turn the valve of serving till blue in the face, but the problem is not the valve. The problem is in the pipes.

 

The copper pipe was new, clean and free of any accumulation. I could hold the pipe, take the same pen and it would fall straight through! When Jesus died on the cross He opened the floodgates of heaven and cleansed our hearts by forgiving us, so that the flow secured by His obedience could reach and flood our hearts. In the same way, He designed and desires a marriage to have a new, clean and open flow of unselfishness and forgiveness. Nothing little or big can stop this kind of flow!

 

MARRIAGE IS NOT COMPLICATED

Beginning on the wedding day through the first 7 years of discovery and difficulty, continuing on through the 9 to 14 years of dying to self and living for another, and enduring through a lifetime of satisfaction and joy, marriage is not more complicated than walking with Jesus: repenting of your sin and forgiving one another.

 

There are only two people in the world who think they’re never wrong: the arrogant and Jesus, and only Jesus is right. When as a christian I consider the cost of the forgiveness of my sins, I truly have no right NOT to forgive (or not to ask forgiveness), since God had every right NOT to forgive me, but did. “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32)

 

Accidents happen: words slip from our mouths. Clean them up quickly! Otherwise, we move from accidents to decisions. We begin to decide we’re going to say something hurtful anyway. Then, if we don’t repent of our wrong decisions, we move from decision to attitude. We’ve determined this is how things are and this is how we’re going to respond. And finally we move from attitude to habits. At this point we’ve established patterns of behavior and paths of thinking, feeling and reacting that apart from the grace of God, will never be removed from our heart.

 

But His grace is like a gentle hand, a skilled hand, a steady hand, a mighty hand that can always come to unself, undo and unstop.

 

“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men.” (Philippians 2:3-7)

10,000 Guides

I walked up under the lights, opened my Bible and looked out over the faces. It had been a long time since I preached in Spanish. I was nervous. Would I remember the right words? Would I pronounce them correctly?  There I stood, ready to preach the Word of God to a people ready to hear it. And so I began. It didn’t take long to feel a sense of accomplishment, a confidence that not only was I doing well, but they were listening well. “Why,” I thought between my words, “doesn’t my congregation listen this well?” “Why,” I thought as I soaked in the thrill of the energy of the room, “isn’t my congregation this spiritually zealous?” And then it happened. My thoughts formed into words and I began to compare this Mexican congregation to my American one.

 

Later when I returned home I listened back to my sermon and was ashamed, embarrassed, and convicted to the bone. I repented and now, ten years later, I love the United States, the American Church and my local congregation more than ever.

 

THE MESS

But what happened? Why did I admire a congregation not my own more than the one I called my own? Is it easier to notice what God is doing in another congregation than it is to pay attention to what He is doing in my own – maybe even to believe He is doing anything at all? And what about us as individual Christians? Is it easier to notice what God is or is not doing in another than it is to pay attention to what He is doing in me? Being a pastor of a local church means being in the mess and creativity of it all. It means being content with, not in control of, and thankful for, not critical of, what God is doing in these people’s lives. Being a disciple means also entering the mess and creativity of it all. It means being content with, not in control of, and thankful for, not critical of, what God is doing in my life and in my church, and recognizing that discipleship and church are inseparable and interdependent.

 

The problem is this: To submit ourselves to a location, to a congregation, to leadership, and to others is to become aware of the good, the bad and the ugly being worked on and worked out of us, individually and corporately, by the Holy Spirit. We don’t find it difficult to notice it in others; we find it easy to attach the label of lacking obedience, faith, knowledge or love. But we have great difficulty seeing it or acknowledging it in ourselves. As the medical saying goes: A doctor who is his own doctor has a fool for a doctor. But the beauty of submitting myself to the work and church God gave me is that it brings out the attitudes that need reshaping, renewing, and recreating. There’s no other way for these things to be dealt with outside of a localized body of believers.

 

10,000 GUIDES

Today, though, it’s so much easier to attend church without submitting anywhere, to listen to sermons without ever engaging in the relationships that are the soil the Scriptures work in. Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 4:15-16, “For though you have countless guides in Christ, you do not have many fathers. For I became your father in Christ Jesus through the gospel. I urge you, then, be imitators of me.” We have countless guides in Christ. Not a bad thing. The word “countless” can be translated as “10,000 guides”. We have 10,000 guides, then. Guides are necessary to our growth and maturity in Christ, but guides lead from a distance. We never get close enough to see their faith being worked out inside the walls of their homes, or in their personal lives. The platform, a book, or a podcast is not adequate for considering the faith-integrated lifestyle of a man or a woman. They can teach us good things, but they can’t see the intricacies of our hearts – the habits, the tendencies, the temptations, the mess. Something, or rather someone, closer is needed. Which is why Paul goes on to say to the local believers in the local church that they need fathers.

 

FEW FATHERS

The ratio of guide to father is 10,000 to a few. Yet, it is more necessary and critical to our Christian life and spiritual growth that we have a father than a guide. We’re called to imitate fathers, not guides. A father is someone who can get close enough, who is close enough, to see over time with precision and patience what’s happening in my heart, what God is doing creatively in this mess and vice versa. This is unattractive and undesirable to us, naturally. Children often believe those closest to them – their parents – don’t see, hear or know enough about them to teach, show and correct. The thrill of learning from friends over parents is always present and attractive. The thrill of shopping is always a threat to being content with what we have. The thrill and excitement of going to those who don’t know us at all, those who don’t have authority over us, will always be greater than sticking it out and grounding ourselves in the slow-growing, zeal-flickering local church we’re close enough to be blessed to see and be a part of.

 

GROWING UP

Today there are 10,000 guides at the fingertips and demand of Christians everywhere. But the “fathers” remain few. The ratio will always be lopsided. And I wonder, Do we have a “spiritually fatherless” generation? Do we have churches filled with many followers, yet few sons and daughters? Imitation is the goal! Paul said to imitate him as he imitated Christ (1 Corinthians 11:1). This is done in close proximity, not safely at a distance.

 

Do we have churches filled with Christians who would rather listen to preachers and follow churches more “radical” than their own? A few questions:

 

(1) Can I remember the last podcast I listened to by Mark Driscoll, Tim Keller, Joel Osteen, Rick Warren, John Piper, Judah Smith and countless others, but not a word my pastor spoke on Sunday? Am I more excited to hear their sermons during the week than my pastor’s on Sunday?

 

(2) Do I feel I grow more while driving and listening to podcasts, while watching other teachers or preachers on TV, while reading other pastors or authors, than I do while sitting and listening to my pastor? And do I blame my pastor, but praise the guide for this?

 

(3) Am I often looking to my favorite pastor or preacher for guidance found online or written in their books, but consider the advice of my local pastor or close friends in my local church less than spiritually adequate?

 

Driscoll, Osteen, Keller, Piper, or whoever we listen to and follow, is not enough.

 

Biblically, we would be more in line moving and submitting to those guides in order that they might become our pastors than we are listening to them and doing as I did, comparing their churches or others’ lives to ours. But God wants you and I to grow up into the full stature and maturity that is Jesus Christ (Ephesians 4:11-16). And the way, the primary way, He accomplishes this is in a local church, a corporate body of believers, where time seems to slow, where messes seem to abound, where the Spirit of God appears to be hovering but never quite forming anything of substance, at least that we can see. Yet, this localized body is how and where life happens: below the surface, invisibly, slowly.

 

In the end, a “father” in my life is equal in value to 10,000 guides. One local, congregational home is more beneficial to my growth than 10,000 I could visit elsewhere. Discipline and correction and full attention to what is going on in the home is never really attractive or fun or thrilling, but it is absolutely necessary to long-term health and growth and imitation.

 

Favorite Memory: A boy and a fridge

My youngest son Aidan had a friend over for a day of Beyblade battles, building forts, and whatever else their imagination found for them to do. It was after a long time of being outside in the cold, then running in and throwing off their coats, that Aidan’s friend walked right over to the fridge, opened wide the doors and reached in. He didn’t ask and I didn’t mind. I smiled and thought to myself, “He feels at home.”

 
Aidan

Hospitality is a curious thing. We often think that we open our homes for the sake of others. And that’s true:  to welcome, share with, give to and bless others is an amazing experience. People of all ages, more than I bother to count usually, walk through our doors any given week. I’ve long learned that the best way to be hospitable is to be yourself, to let others see you being who you are and doing what you do. There’s no “pretending”, trying to impress people; there’s no “pouting”, wishing they would leave you alone. Your home is theirs – games, snacks, books, TV, etc. If they can feel like they belong and are wanted, if they can see and hear something different, if they can unlearn or learn something, if they can relax and rest, if they can talk and be heard, if they can laugh and have some fun – then hospitality has won the day.

 

Yet opening our homes is for our sake, too, because “selfishly” is a poor and miserable way to live. Keeping people out bleeds our hearts dry of love. But when we open our hearts with generosity, then our hearts grow deeper in kindness and open wider with love – like refrigerator doors. We smile because others feel at home and we’re sincerely thankful they’ve come and stayed, not only for their sake, but also for ours.

 

Keep your eyes open. A boy and a fridge can teach you a lot.