Jonathan Evans

"Show me"

At times we can be found as Christians living before God as young children playing hide and seek with their parents: if we can’t see them, they can’t see us. 

 

How often we are aware of something in our heart that we know we need to bring to light, to reveal, to confess and repent of, but we cover our eyes and believe that if we’re not looking at it, God isn’t either. “If it were a big deal,” we reason, “God would bring it up.”

 

So we choose to turn away, to ignore, to minimize, to push what we don't want seen behind whatever it is we do. At times God mercifully comes anyway and, like a good father, brings up and brings out those things that we didn’t want to look at or hear about.

 

But, also like a good father, sometimes he mercifully doesn't. Instead, he’ll wait for us to bring up what he’s known is there all along. In fact, as we grow and mature, this expectation becomes one of our primary responsibilities.

 

It’s one thing to be shown your heart. It's another to ask to be shown your heart. “Search me, oh God, and know my heart!…And see if there be any grievous way in me…” (Psalm 139). See, show me, if there is any wicked way in me.

 

It’s one thing for us to come to God and see what he will do. It’s another for us to come and seek what God will do—to seek to know his will, to seek to do his will, to seek for his will to be done. 

 

“Ask and it will be given to you” (Matthew 7:7) includes the things we ask and want to be left unseen; “You have not, because you ask not” (James 4:2) includes the things God is wanting and waiting for you to see.

Beyond words, but not apart from words

 

Dear Christian,

 

We read the Bible to remember that God With Us (Matthew 1:23) has acted in history, in time, and what he has done in Jesus. We see that we're a part of a story that is timeless, that doesn't end in time, on earth, but is written from eternity to eternity. It's a story bigger than any one of us that yet includes each one of us.

 

We read the Bible to realize that God's activity is not something centered around my individual life but someone focused exclusively on Jesus Christ: God Himself is set on exalting Jesus on earth from beginning to end – past, present, future.

 

We read the Bible to recognize that my life and yours are created, formed, and made to be a reflection of the greatness, majesty, and glory of God. Our life saved from sin is being recreated, reformed, remade into the perfect image of God, Jesus Christ (2 Corinthians 4:4; Colossians 1:15; Hebrews 1:3), and is called into and empowered for full participation in his kingdom. We not only read this in the word of God but we live this through The Word of God, Jesus Christ (Revelation 19:13; John 1:1, 14), to whom the whole Bible is pointing and in whom the whole Bible is fulfilled.

 

We read the Bible to respond to a God who speaks. Exceeding, and more exhilarating than, a perfect day is hearing one word from God. Anyone in a significant relationship knows that conversation is better than a thousand gifts and that a thousand gifts without a meaningful conversation are meaningless. To listen to the voice of the one you love, of the one who loves you, is fulfilling beyond words, but not apart from words.

 

Listen closely, read slowly.

The lived-in and lived-out reality of love

“That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we looked upon and have touched with our hands, concerning the word of life—the life was made manifest, and we have seen it, and testify to it and proclaim to you the eternal life, which was with the Father and was made manifest to us—that which we have seen and heard we proclaim also to you, so that you too may have fellowship with us; and indeed our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son Jesus Christ.” (1 John 1:1-3)

 

Heard with our ears. Seen with our eyes. Touched with our hands. Words that describe a sensory experience. This experience wasn’t a "what" as much as it was a "who". Jesus is Who the disciples experienced – listened to, looked upon, touched. He was the “word of life”, “the eternal life, which was with the Father and was made manifest". “And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory” (John 1:14). 

 

The glory of God in Jesus Christ was what, who, the disciples proclaimed, spoke of, conversed about. Yet, not just who they’d heard with mortal ears, or seen with mortal eyes, or touched with mortal hands, but who with their entire beings they’d come to know and to understand, to receive and to believe, to follow and to obey. Like a friend who is able to describe a loved one articulately, intimately, and stunningly, in a way a stranger never could or even imagine, is the disciple who knows Jesus able to describe him to others.

 

It is one thing to know about a country from reading about it – information as facts, pictures, maps. This is the student. It is quite another thing to know about a country from having visited it – the experiences of people and conversation, food and places of significance. This is the tourist. But it is still a different thing altogether to know a country from living there – life and daily routines, roads and secret places, stories and names, struggles and victories, etc. This is the citizen.

 

As Christians, we are saved and “born again”, born from above (John 3:3; 1 Peter 1:3, 23), to live in, through, with, and for Jesus, not to read about him or visit him occasionally. “It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.” (Galatians 2:20) We are now to live here, there, wherever we are “by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” (Gal. 2:20); to build a home, pray, work, rest, play, dig in, root ourselves, make friends, and serve and seek the prosperity of our cities (Jeremiah 29:4-7). We are citizens of a heavenly kingdom (Philippians 3:20) that takes the necessary and daily routines, roads and secret places, stories and names, struggles and victories of our lives and communities and gives them their higher and deeper meaning and purpose in Jesus. 

 

We are citizens of this kingdom by grace, not by our works nor for our works but by the King’s work and for his works. We hear and see and embrace him by grace; he hears and sees and embraces us in mercy. And far from being a postcard or a t-shirt or a visit from there (a distant land), our lives are the lived-in/lived-out reality of him (who has come near), his love articulated and manifested in and through us.

Unbelief is a yearning

“I don’t believe in God,” writes Julian Barnes, “but I miss him.” Unbelief is a yearning. It leads you away from believing in certain things, but not in all things. It leads you to believe in many other ways and in many other things that are to it more believable than God. 

 

“I don’t believe in love, but I miss it,” is the self-confession of many in the heartache of another broken and lost, deep and meaningful relationship. Though they vow, “Never again”, they long for love more than ever before. So they will search for, or create, or force new ways to be loved. With a mixture of faith and doubt they knock, hoping to be invited in, and if not, to invite themselves in.

 

Saul of Tarsus didn’t believe in Jesus, but he had a passionate, violent yearning for God's love. Restlessly, tirelessly he pursued it and found it exactly where he wasn’t looking, where he was convinced it wasn't, where he had sought to in (un)belief destroy it. "And he said, 'Who are you, Lord?' And he said, 'I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting.' " (Acts 9:5)

 

“I believe; help my unbelief!” (Mark 9:24). Jesus meets and helps me when and where I barely or partly believe, not when and where I fully and completely believe. Because belief or faith is not a work that earns and deserves anything from God. It is that which knows in some small, child-like way that I can’t and don’t have to earn this; I can’t and don’t have to be deserving of this; I can’t and don’t have to go out and get this on my own; here it is and it is mine. Perhaps a child believes suddenly that they are all alone. Whatever the cause, that belief just as suddenly effortlessly rises up from the heart and races to call out, “Mom? Dad?”

  

Unbelief and belief wrestle with each other in my heart and my mind, and that's ok. Sometimes I can’t sleep and I wrestle with my thoughts, pinning one only to be lifted by another. It disturbs my wife’s sleep. And I wonder, would she sleep better with my wrestlings and turnings or with my complete absence?

Idolatry and adultery

 

When Jesus says, “But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” (Matthew 5:28), he is not saying that any man who notices or recognizes the beauty of another woman has committed adultery. He is saying that any man who looks on a woman in order to desire her sexually, in order to have sex with her in his imagination, has committed adultery. 

 

The Bible often equates idolatry with adultery. God, who has redeemed for himself a people for his own possession through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, has done so with the anticipation and expectation that his people will worship and love him exclusively, completely, and permanently. "For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is his name; and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer, the God of the whole earth he is called." (Isaiah 54:5)

 

However, Biblical narrative and the history of the church and the experience of any Christian’s heart show that the people of God often turn away to worship and serve other gods. We idolize; we commit idolatry, spiritual adultery.

 

This first happened following God’s miraculous salvation of Israel from slavery to Egypt. “Our fathers refused to obey him, but thrust him  (Moses) aside, and in their hearts they turned to Egypt saying to Aaron, ‘Make for us gods who will go before us. As for this Moses who led us out from the land of Egypt, we do not know what has become of him.’ And they made a calf in those days, and offered a sacrifice to the idol and were rejoicing in the works of their hands.” (Acts 7:39-41). 

 

This happened again when God through Joshua brought Israel into the promised land. He commanded them to break down the altars representative of worship to other gods. “Now the angel of the Lord went up from Gilgal to Bochim. And he said, “I brought you up from Egypt and brought you into the land that I swore to give to your fathers. I said, ‘I will never break my covenant with you, and you shall make no covenant with the inhabitants of this land; you shall break down their altars.’ But you have not obeyed my voice. What is this you have done?” (Judges 2:1-2). Don’t miss this dear Christian. Before Israel joined and bowed in worshipping other gods, they failed to obey and break down their altars. There was a breakdown in their heart towards God before there was a breaking away in their actions against God.

 

Idolatry does not begin the moment we bow to another god, anymore than adultery, as Jesus has pointed out, begins the moment you have sex. Idolatry begins the moment we determine in our hearts that God is not all-sufficient for our life. We find something in addition to or apart from God to be as or more worthy of our trust and obedience, our love and our worship, and we pursue it. 

 

God is all-sufficient for your needs, your wants, your hopes, and your dreams. He belongs to you. But that’s not all he’s “good for”. He is all-sufficient for your obedience, your purity, your holiness, and your calling. You belong to him. He did not begrudgingly redeem and free you from slavery to your sin. He freely gave himself for you; he wholeheartedly took your place; he loved you. "you were ransomed...not with perishable things such as silver or gold, but with the precious blood of Christ" (1 Peter 1:18-19). We are “the church of God, which he obtained with his own blood.” (Acts 20:28).

 

There is no grudge or mistrust or fear in the heart of the slave who has been freed by grace. There is only joy and thanksgiving and the desire to willingly follow their new Master all the days of their new life.

My superiority = Your inferiority

 

"God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector", prayed the religiously devout Pharisee, one admired by many (Luke 18:11).

 

We often parent our children with this attitude. We teach them by our words and actions to live, think, feel, believe, pray, and treat others as, "God, thank you I'm not like ________.”

 

We should show our children how proud we are of them. But we often do this by comparing them (at least in our minds) to others who are by our estimation or standards less beautiful, talented, smart, moral, etc.. In other words, "I'm proud of you, I take joy and delight in you, because you're not like them." Well then. We're not rightly or really proud of them; we're just boasting they're not like someone else. We’re instilling, cultivating, and nurturing in them a sense of superiority over others, the inferiority of others.

 

But superiority or pride is an awful way to relate to people, to measure them up against ourselves. There's a harshness, not a gentleness in our approach. When my son was five years old he broke his leg, and the doctor came in, put his hands on his leg, and forcefully bent. There are gentle ways to deal with painful realities.

 

"God, have mercy on me a sinner.", prayed the tax collector, one despised by many (Luke 18:13), but awakened to, convicted by, repentant of his true condition before God.

 

The Pharisee sees no internal need; he sees himself as being deserving; he is better than others. The sinner sees his internal need; he sees himself as being undeserving; he is no better than others.

 

As Christians, the image of God, not belief in God, is fundamental to having and giving respect to everyone. Whether or not someone ever believes in Jesus doesn’t absolve me of Jesus’ command to love them as myself. Yet, this is difficult to do if I feel (believe) myself to be better than others, and if feeling and being better than others is the goal, to what extent will I go to continue to feel this way? Sooner or later I feel I am the best only when I believe others are the worst.

 

But also and even more radical to the Christian’s power and desire to love is the grace of God. “Once you were not a people, but now you are God’s people; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.” (1 Peter 2:10) Only to the extent that we've received and experienced the undeserving love, grace and mercy of God will we be able to love, give grace, and show mercy to others without feeling superior or more righteous than them. 

 

There is no one more tolerant of sinful humanity than God, and there is no one more intolerant of sinful humanity than God. In Jesus He was both tolerant of us and intolerant of us. How? God shows His tolerance of us by not condemning us for our sins though we justly deserve it. But He has not overlooked us or condoned our sin. Rather, He demonstrated His intolerance of sin by condemning Jesus in our place and pouring out His wrath on Him in punishment for our sin. 

 

To live with those who love you is easy, but to die for those who hate you is unimaginable – except in the mind and heart of God.

 

So there is a better, higher, deeper, more humble, more satisfying, more joyful, and more powerful way to live. It's not by being spineless in conviction, political in integrity, self-righteous in zeal or nominal in faith; it's by losing my life (and my sense of superiority) and by laying down my life (and my sense of your inferiority) in order to find and to live my life "by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." (Galatians 2:20)

Forgiveness is daily cleansing

What are some things we clean daily? 

 

Our bodies. When I was growing up my parents needed to remind me to take a shower. Apparently they weren’t immune to the smell like I was. In fact, even later in life (no, I won’t tell you how old I was) someone kindly pulled me aside and asked if owned deodorant. Yeah, we need to clean and wash our bodies daily.  

 

 

 

 Our clothes. We all like wearing a clean shirt and pants. If you have to smell that shirt before you put it on though, you probably shouldn’t wear it. Just go ahead and wash it.

 

Our dishes. Now that my children are doing dishes, every once in a while I pull out a plate or a fork that has a spot or some food on it. They don’t want to use it when I give it to them. So we wash again.

 

Our houses. Most of us have a day of the week where we go through the house and clean it thoroughly. We pick up, put things back into place, sweep, dust, etc. If hospitality is a way of living for you, then a clean house is a must. 

 

If in our daily, physical lives there are things we should take care of, how about in our daily, spiritual lives? 

 

More than anyone Jesus knows what we need most every single day. One of the most important things he teaches us that we need is forgiveness – receiving and giving it. It is as essential as “daily bread” and daily protection and guidance. (Matthew 6:11-13)

 

“Forgive us our debts as we also have forgiven our debtors.” (Matthew 6:12) .

 

Forgiveness is daily cleansing.

 

When we’re forgiven and when we forgive we can smell good again. The fragrance of grace and mercy returns to us. We’re no longer immune to our own odor of anger, unforgiveness or bitterness. We’re easier and more enjoyable to be around. 

 

When we’re forgiven and when we forgive we can wear a spirit of kindness. A clean attitude of love clothes us. Generosity and joy are with us wherever we go. We release to God what we think others owe us rather than demanding it from them.

 

When we’re forgiven and when we forgive we can be patient with and less critical of others. We’ll recognize that we are far worse sinners against God than others are against us. Yet He loves us, forgives us, and cleanses us.

 

When we’re forgiven and when we forgive we can clean any unkept areas in our hearts that are dark and filthy. Light and fresh air come in. Things that are disorganized and clutter our lives, making it nearly impossible to move, can be trashed. Order can return.

 

Yes, I sin daily, “But you are a God ready to forgive” (Nehemiah 9:17). Yes, I am sinned against daily, but “as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.” (Colossians 3:13)

Maybe it doesn’t take as long to come back to life as it does to die.

It's probably just me, but I find it difficult to remember to water the plants in my office. There’s only three and I see them everyday! Yet I’ve easily (or conveniently) ignored them everyday. Until recently.

 

I’m not sure a dying plant speaks very well of my ability to care.

 

Everyday that I walk or drive the streets of my city, I usually take the same route. This means that I’m looking at the same things every day. It also means that I’m probably not seeing what or who is actually there. 

 

My eyes are open, but not really.

 

I need my eyes to open. I want to see what I’ve never noticed; I want to notice what I’ve always seen. 

 

I’m not sure a hurting neighborhood or city speaks very well of my ability or willingness to care. 

 

But if the love and grace of God have their way, I’ll start somewhere. I’ll notice and pay attention. I’ll stop and listen. I’ll sacrifice and give. I’ll come to realize that the city’s not only here for me, but that I’m also here for it, and maybe even more so in God’s eyes.

 

It appears it doesn’t take as much time for something to come back to life as it does for it to die. My plants are green again and growing. Time and water, daily attention and care. That’s what I can do. But what I can’t produce or command or control is life itself.

 

God gives life and God gives growth when and where we plant and water (1 Corinthians 3:6). 

 

One of my plants is drinking water like my son does after running hard. I can hear it, and it sounds desperate. All around me people are weary and working hard; many are hurting and giving up. Kindness to most is welcome. It is intriguing, surprising, refreshing. Kindness is also powerful. It is shocking, a “force quit”, a restart. 

 

It was, after all, God’s undeserved kindness towards me that led me to Him (Romans 2:4).

Serve. But every single day?

Learning to serve is perhaps one of the hardest things to learn, to do, to get in the habit of. Yes, it should become a habit. It should be something we do day in and day out, even at times without thinking, without blinking, without hesitation.

 

 

Being last is something we’re not naturally inclined towards. And yet putting others first is the only sure road to experiencing joy, mercy, forgiveness, kindness, generosity, grace, and love. 

 

Is it possible to experience the abundant life of Jesus if we resist or refuse living the way he lived? “For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you.” (John 13:15) 

 

This new life is a new way of living. “Abide in my love.” (John 15:9)

 

Start with someone close to you. What’s one thing that you can do for them every single day? A kiss before you get out of bed. A morning cup of coffee. Sweeping the floor before leaving for work. Doing the dishes before going to bed. Asking about their day. Asking if they need anything. 

 

A servant’s heart is a creative heart; it sees endless opportunities.

 

Yet even when the things we do become monotonous, even boring, over time we cultivate contentment – deep satisfaction and gratitude. That awkward feeling of doing something that you rarely do has been replaced with the genuine disappointment of not having done what you want to do every single day.

Why am I rushed? Why am I in a hurry?

I pulled away, then stopped a second and a few inches short of hitting him. And not a stranger; someone I knew! Thankfully he was in a kind mood.

 

A good way to examine the spiritual condition of your soul is not how long you pray, how much Bible you read or how many church services you attend. A good way to tell how healthy your soul is is how quickly you want to go from one location to another; from one task to another; from one conversation to another.

 

Inside there’s a hurry, a feeling, a pressure, a gnawing sense of having to get somewhere or needing to get something done as quickly as possible. So we drive faster, walk faster, talk faster, eat faster, pray faster, read faster, and even try to go to sleeper faster so we can get up and start faster.

 

It’s hard to imagine Jesus being in a hurry. Busy, yes. Rushed, no. To read about Jesus is to notice a man not less busy than us, but as busy if not more. Yet He had time to touch the sick, to eat with sinners, to embrace children, to talk with strangers, to tell stories, to teach others. In short, Jesus carefully noticed and fully paid attention to all that was going on around Him. 

 

Am I too rushed to notice? Am I in too big a hurry to pay attention? Making the most of our days means recognizing and responding to the divine opportunities God gives us (Ephesians 5:16), opportunities we’ll miss or even lose if we don’t have time. 

 

Drive slower. Yes, for the safety of those around you, but also for the health of your soul. Teach it to keep pace with Jesus who is often neither before us nor beside us, but behind us watching as we hurry on ahead of Him, yet waiting patiently for us to notice.